Turn your self-confidence from a destructive vicious cycle into a reinforcing positive boost with this simple trick
Many times, a huge barrier that men faced with women is the lack of confidence. Be it online or in a pub, a man lacking in self-confidence will feel assaulted by self-doubts and imagined failure scenarios.
However, this act is in itself, a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you are not confident, women can easily sense it in your body or tonal language and dismiss you immediately. When you lack self-confidence, your jokes will come out flat and sound awkward. You will freeze mentally and not be able to think on your feet. In fact, simply having confidence is already half the battle won when hooking up with women, be it in person or using online dating services.
Break The Vicious Cycle
The scariest thing about low confidence is that it can be a vicious cycle. When you are low on confidence, you have a high chance of messing things up with women. And when you do mess up, the failures worm their way into your spirit, making you lose confidence, which in turn increases the likelihood of your next failure. Over time, you are simply embroiled into a vicious cycle.
However, the reverse is also true. If you start experiencing success with women, even with no specific reasons, your confidence will soar as a result. Every single time you make an approach, your confidence will shine through in your dating body language. You will make great first date impressions. You will dare to be bold, cheeky and funny, which attracts the woman to you even more. You will have an enjoyable time with your girl, be it a serious relationship or simply a casual hookup. This reinforces your positivity, which carries over to the next approach and push you into a positive reinforcing cycle.
Fake It Till You Make It!
Thus, the best way to break a vicious cycle and enter into a positive reinforcing cycle is to Fake It Till You Make It.
Just because you are not feeling confident, it does not mean you can’t exhibit confidence. The trick lies in the body language. Once you display confident body language, people around you will buy into the confident aura that you display.
Here are some key confidence body language signals you will need to display to the people around you:
- Keep your head up, don’t look down at the ground
- Keep your back straight and push your shoulders back
- Make strong eye contact! Don’t look away after 1-2 seconds. Meet their gaze and hold for at least 5-10 seconds when speaking to anyone.
- Walk with purpose and direction. Take an easy stride and do not shuffle your feet
- Cut down on your nervous habits, such as picking your nails, shaking your legs etc.
- When in doubt of what to do, just lean back and keep a warm, relaxed smile on your face
The whole point of exhibiting self-confidence through body language is to plant the seeds.
Firstly, simply by adopting confident body language, studies have found that it will actually invoke feelings of confidence. Thus, the body leads the mind in projecting confidence. Always stand tall and keep a smile on your face and you will find yourself feeling positive psychologically.
Secondly, the minute you exhibit strong confidence through your body language, it will affect the people around you. They will notice your strong aura and start responding positively towards you. This is the most important. Many human beings need affirmation from the people around them, and slowly but surely, your confidence will naturally increase once you receive positive social affirmation.
Over time, you will find that people around you will start acting a lot more warmly towards you and start seeking YOUR affirmation, instead of the other way round. Be kind and give it to them. Women will start being more attracted to you, drawn to your confidence like a magnet. You can even make a bad joke, and women will find it funny because you delivered it with absolute confidence (trust us on this, it had happened many times!)
How To Make This Work
Don’t over think the entire process of Fake It Till You Make It. Take this as a social experiment and go out and try it. Learn how to hookup. Rather than being obsessed about how you can consistently fake things, start being curious about the people around you. How will they respond differently if you start making longer eye contact with them? How do women react to you if you introduce yourself to them standing tall, shoulders back with a warm smile?
Try out all these different body languages in dating and instead of being fixated on a process to raise your confidence, focus on observing how people react to you when you do different things. This will help you overcome a lot of the initial fear and hesitation.
As always in our posts, you will never achieve anything if you read and never get started on making a real difference. So don’t just read this! Get out there and try our tips! If you want to know where you can do that check out these hookup dating sites reviews and more importantly, read our Passion.com review to get more insights on how you can succeed on hookup sites.
After all, what have you got to lose from improving your body posture, maintaining longer eye contact and giving a warm smile to people around you?